Have I mentioned that my neighbor is an ass?

Yeah, my neighbor is an ass. He pisses me off. He is so rude. And he always has an asshole thing to say.

Like, when Belle ran over into his yard to sniff around when she was like 3 months old and still getting trained. I go over and say, "Come on Belle, cute puppy." He comes out and says, "You better not get her used to coming over to my yard. I don't want her around my dog." Ass. First of all, like I would want my dog in his yard, inhaling his evil fumes. Second, like his dog didn't come over when she was a puppy a few times...we didn't say anything nasty. Not to mention that the family's previous dog attacked our previous dog when I was in grade school. So who shouldn't trust who? BESIDES, it just isn't a very neighborly thing to say. Most considerate people might say something like, "Oh is this your new puppy? blah blah blah...just be careful while you are training her...my dag is getting older..." You know? I mean, this is the first thing the asshole has said to me in like, 3 months.

Whatever.

So I avoid the guy like poisen, but try to be kind to his son, who so far isn't quite as stuck up as the rest of the fam-damily.

Anyway, I come home today and their dog is out sitting on the very apex of our cul-de-sac, right smack between our houses. (I should say that this neighbor lives right across the street, at the end of the cul-de-sac...would you like the address?)So I go up to say hi to the old dog...can't take it out on her that her owner is, well, did I mention he's a bit of an asshole?

On my way up, she barks at me, and then sniffs and then I pet her...and ooooh did she love it....as all doggy's do....and out comes, yup, you guessed it, the asshole. (By the way his name is Kevin. Would you like his last name?) While I was petting her, I was saying (to the dog, not to Kevin), "see, I'm not scary! See, its just me!" SO I look up and smile a friendly, neighborly smile, and the asshole says, "Well, she's supposed to bark to let me know if there is anything out here." (As in, to warn you that I am arriving home? I wasn't anywhere near their yard...does the ass hol consider the whole end of the cul-de-sac his territor.

So giving Sandy (would you like to know the breed?) one last scratch behind the ears, I look up with my best, Killing-the-asshole-with-kindness smile (which I have practiced on numerous occasions in parent-teacher conferences with parents who, for example, never return notes or initial their child's homework and then want to know why their child isn't doing well in class,) I say, "Well, then, she's doing a good job!" And I about face and head inside.

Ug....he makes my skin crawl every time I see him.

Did I mention that this guy is an asshole?